Saturday, September 12, 2009

A walk to remember makes me think..

It’s a miracle what kind of change comes after an amount of time. My fault though , because I didn’t prepare myself. I wish I could go back and relive those times; feel so careless and free and happy. It felt so good; and I miss it terribly. The people you think will never hurt you; somehow hurt you in the long run, and it hurts more then ever because you never saw it coming.. well that’s how I feel. Honestly, I feel like I’n doing much better with this whole heartbreak thing and having to accept the fact that he doesn’t want me anymore, but hey I have my rights too, and that means I can miss him without feeling guilty. It’s normal. But at some points I just have the urge to break down , because after all of this; I wanted so bad .. and I still want so bad .. to make it .. I WAS SO DAMN CLOSE . I don’t get how he didn’t realize I was giving it my all. And this is why sometimes I just don’t feel good enough, because the one person who should’ve seen my effort.. didn’t.

it hurts so much to feel this way ; but it hurts even more having to accept the fact that I have to be okay with it..
I miss his warmth, his kisses, his hugs, every little effing detail of our relationship.. except that he let me go. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. I accepted him through all his flaws.. I just wish he wanted me back atleast close to as bad as I want him back. I still love you; and you have no idea how much it fuckin kills me being like this.

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