and its really over..

man oh man do i miss you right now.

seriously ; there are way too many memories to look back on and it kills me knowing you let me go, because “things changed.” Like, wtf man!? That’s BULLSHIT. It wasn’t even four days before the day you broke up with me that you looked me in the eye and told me you loved me. I believed you ; and I believed you every fuckin single time you told me it’d be forever. You promised no matter what, it’d only be me. What happened to you? How can you change so damn fast? How can you let me go that easily? How can you not fight for me or for what we had? I’m sure as hell we had love. I don’t even know you anymore right now. I know you gave up on me.. and it hurts more then anything because not once did I ever give up on you. No matter what you put me through, no matter how many excuses you had, and no matter what everyone said and put us through, I fought for you and i fought for US , because I believed you were worth it. And I thought in the long run.. you’d do the same for me.. but I guess at this point, I guess I was wrong. I wish you showed emotion, and I wish you showed you loved me.. but hey, that’s all I can do right? Wish for everything to happen ..even if it doesn’t? I blame myself all the time, and I make excuses for you all the time, and I always tell myself maybe I wasn’t worth it .. but maybe; everyone else is right. When they say ” it’s not your fault, and eventually it’ll catch up to him” .. maybe they’re right. But who am I to say that? I miss and love you dearly; and no one can take that away from me.. but if it means letting you go then maybe that’s what I have to do. You are everything to me. You have been from the start and you know that.

Thanks for getting my hopes up when you promised/swore on everything .. that it’d only be me.. and that it’d be forever. I honestly didn’t know that forever could end so quickly. It hurts like a bitch to be like this. It hurts seeing myself get hurt in the end for everything I did for you. But what hurts the most, if having to almost let go .. and knowing you’re not doing anything to try to get me back. I wish you’d come back to me. Oh well.. for now, all I have are memories to reminisce on and dreams that constantly come up in my head..

p.s. yes ; I’m still patiently waiting for you. And yes; there’s still time.